Tag Archive | Mother Teresa

Day 16 : On being Judgmental

One day, I met one of my friend who is a pregnant, wanted to find someone in her neighborhood to share experiences, essentially looking for a like minded person to make friendship with. She was driving me back to my home, and while passing I spotted a lady with a toddler and dressed for summer and there is something about her personality from distance sounded like a confident personality. I pointed to her and encouraged my friend to chat with her. My friend immediately retorted saying that how could you judge a person like that based on their appearance. True, you never know until you spend some time with her and the situations that arise will only speak if they are at your frequency.

We judge people inadvertently all the time that we come in contact with in our own limited capabilities. When we have conversation with a friend, stranger or colleague – we immediately react if that is in conflict with our ideas. Is it even possible to emotionally detach and absorb the information and not judge the person but act on the information by providing facts irrespective of whether you like it or not? How do you handle?

I have a friend who comes across as very judgmental and strongly opinionated. I used to avoid sharing information about my life, or family or discuss certain topics knowing well that she judges and defends her points without knowing entire context. I only speak up with her when I think it is important to show her another point of view on certain things that are important to me and she is aware of it. I like her, she is an extrovert and sweet, but that’s her personality and is neither harming nor hurtful. It is also refreshing for me to hear different perspective expanding my point-of-views for a given topic. There was an instance where one of colleague preferred cats to having kids. She has been harshly judged by my peers at work and was made fun of behind her back. When I asked what’s wrong with that choice?  All I understood was, they were trying to project their way of life onto her.  I feel, majority of us are always trying to project our views onto others and expect others agree to what we say or treat that as normal.

We judge people all the time based on our experiences and knowledge. It takes a considerable amount of effort in not judging self and others. Being emotionally detached and having presence of mind is something that comes with practice. Clearly that is not easy. Having compassion for every human being and not being judgmental is something that I try to remind myself every day. The world will be a better place had we been less judgmental and more compassionate humans.

Here are few quotes that I found more apt for the topic:

Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way.  – Swami Vivekananda

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.  -Dalai Lama

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.  -Mother Teresa

What is your take on this?

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Loneliness is the greatest poverty

“Loneliness is the greatest poverty” – Mother Teresa

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I started reading a book on Mother Teresa’s lately and it resonates the fact of how most of the rich are the poorest, how we just give “Something” away to poor thinking that we are helping them and yet we fail to provide love, care and treating them as part of our family. This feeling of not being loved is the root cause of so much despair, loss of peace in the world.

I have attended “Art of Living” course once and the instructor spoke about “Belongingness” and how “yogi’s” in Himalayas are at peace, they claim that these people feel connected to every single human being on the earth and they feel they belong to everyone and that makes them feel content and be at peace.

Honestly, is it easy to think like that when we feel lonely? That there is whole world out there who belong to us?

Both of them or any person who is deeply spiritual would advocate the same. I am at loss of this philosophy and perhaps I fail to shower so much love on people that I know and as well poor.  May be I am just not sure how to love someone unconditionally?  

Although, Mother Teresa is considered to love and provide for poor people unconditionally, but I do not think unconditional love exists. There is always some ulterior motive behind that so called “Unconditional” love. For her it is achieving of the inner peace by serving Lord Jesus in every possible way. She is the epitome of giving utmost love and care for the poor.

If only everyone on the earth thinks bit like Mother Teresa, giving love and feeling loved would make earth a great place to live.

What is poverty after all?

Its true there is so much suffering out there, lack of proper food, shelter, water, diseases and yet we as human beings crave for being worthy of living this life. That gives content and inner peace.