Tag Archive | mind

Day 16 : On being Judgmental

One day, I met one of my friend who is a pregnant, wanted to find someone in her neighborhood to share experiences, essentially looking for a like minded person to make friendship with. She was driving me back to my home, and while passing I spotted a lady with a toddler and dressed for summer and there is something about her personality from distance sounded like a confident personality. I pointed to her and encouraged my friend to chat with her. My friend immediately retorted saying that how could you judge a person like that based on their appearance. True, you never know until you spend some time with her and the situations that arise will only speak if they are at your frequency.

We judge people inadvertently all the time that we come in contact with in our own limited capabilities. When we have conversation with a friend, stranger or colleague – we immediately react if that is in conflict with our ideas. Is it even possible to emotionally detach and absorb the information and not judge the person but act on the information by providing facts irrespective of whether you like it or not? How do you handle?

I have a friend who comes across as very judgmental and strongly opinionated. I used to avoid sharing information about my life, or family or discuss certain topics knowing well that she judges and defends her points without knowing entire context. I only speak up with her when I think it is important to show her another point of view on certain things that are important to me and she is aware of it. I like her, she is an extrovert and sweet, but that’s her personality and is neither harming nor hurtful. It is also refreshing for me to hear different perspective expanding my point-of-views for a given topic. There was an instance where one of colleague preferred cats to having kids. She has been harshly judged by my peers at work and was made fun of behind her back. When I asked what’s wrong with that choice?  All I understood was, they were trying to project their way of life onto her.  I feel, majority of us are always trying to project our views onto others and expect others agree to what we say or treat that as normal.

We judge people all the time based on our experiences and knowledge. It takes a considerable amount of effort in not judging self and others. Being emotionally detached and having presence of mind is something that comes with practice. Clearly that is not easy. Having compassion for every human being and not being judgmental is something that I try to remind myself every day. The world will be a better place had we been less judgmental and more compassionate humans.

Here are few quotes that I found more apt for the topic:

Condemn none: if you can stretch out a helping hand, do so. If you cannot, fold your hands, bless your brothers, and let them go their own way.  – Swami Vivekananda

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.  -Dalai Lama

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.  -Mother Teresa

What is your take on this?


Beautiful Thoughts

If you are surrounded by positive thoughts with beautiful images, places, situations and energetic people who generates positive vibes…. Soon enough, you will see only great things happening to you. No matter what situation you are in right now, the “hope” for better will always make you content and drives you with euphoric energy to get there.


(source: Google image search)

Some acquaintance of mine told me that if a person meditates just for 3 minutes a day imagining beautiful surroundings or locations (yes, yes minus your friends, family etc etc.. you do not want to clog your beautiful thoughts by thinking about them or any unpleasant conversations… and it’s not meditation at all), the brain will process good things, what you sow, so will be reaped.. Isn’t?  She says, giving that space to brain really heals any other malfunctioning in the body. After all brain is the CPU.. isn’t? And did I not mention.. she is a Dr. and practicing Pediatrician.

Did I do it? Well, I’ve been planning to do this for years now and thought at least my blog readers might get benefited and which is why I am throwing this idea out in open there.  Grab it, Grab it, Grab it

Let me know if you have done it already? And how do you feel about it?

Desi’s abroad

Life of a Desi (Courtesy: Google images)

Life of a Desi
(Courtesy: Google images)

I am an Indian staying abroad.. the term coiled to represent people like “us” as “Desi’s”.  Just like how chinese people addressed as “Chinki’s”.. No offense but that is a most common terminology to address the race.

Recently, I’ve had my parents visited me for a brief period of time and it was great to have them around. Obviously, I was busy planning their outings and had almost no time for blogging. Well yeah, a good excuse.  For every beginning there is an End, some times it ends as we would have anticipated and most of the times we detour and often the path is painful but with good ending. Again it sounds like a “Cliche” from movies, part of it could be me watching too many dramatic movies.

All said, parting does bring pain. Their visitation ended with beautiful memories and now I am left with gloomy clouds.  As much as I sounded excited while sending-them-off, only later did those clouds melted and rain poured down.. oh yes, like every other human being I cried. No matter how much hard one tries to understand the reasoning behind those tears, there is truly something about being part of family, those relationships, emotions, affection are something that keeps you grounded. Yes, we have had our share of fun times, non-forgettable-great times, hard times, dis-agreements, opinion clashes, petty jealousies, arguments and so on so forth, but no matter what I love them and I dearly miss them.

These are the times where I end up introspecting and start wondering about “What if’s” , “If only’s” etc etc and torn between thoughts of life in United States vs India.  Life is truly an adventure with “good” , “bad”, “okay”,”great”,”worst” , “not so bad” times and yet you move forward with most exciting spirit and “Hope” to reach your destination. What is destination after all? As much as I do not want to get philosophical about life purpose, aims, plans, deviations etc etc.. I try to believe destination is an ever changing target we chase through out our life and I have made peace with myself that “Change is the only Constant thing in life”.

At the end, it’s your story..and no one but you write.

One of my dearest friend always says: “We always know next few minutes ahead of what is going to happen” and yet it is challenging to be positive or hopeful all the time.  There is nothing to lose in thinking great about yourself or life in general. Don’t you think so?