Tag Archive | friends

Day 19 : Emotional Attachment for Things

There is not a single person that I personally know of, who is not attached to materialistic things in some or the other form. May be, I have not reached that spectrum yet in my life. Gifts from loved ones, things you have purchased with your first income, or anything that you have accumulated over a period of time, has some memory associated with it. Does it not?

A friend of mine recently moved to her new home. The home is probably 10 times larger in square feet than their previous apartment they lived in. With a toddler in hand, and other shopping responsibilities for furniture had their energy drained by end of the day. This is when, your’s truly came in to picture to help her organize her kitchen. All of you know, how much I struggle with organizing in my tiny home with thorough thought process of whether we need it or not, and mull over things to buy and are forced to de-clutter at times for lack of space. Now, this kitchen in their home is much larger by size than I am used to. It was already semi organized by then, so all I had to do was categorize them, select the place, organize in presentable manner. Repeat. 70 percent was done in  mere 4 hours.

With this exercise, I realized that I had no emotional attachment to anything from their kitchen, broken cup, jug or plate or glass or any dishware – my instant reaction was, let’s just get rid of them unless my friends really really wanted it for some meaning. They did keep handful and rest of them were thrown out mercilessly into garbage. Not only that, anything that if i feel they may not use it, I suggested them to get rid. It was easy. The kitchen looked much better than where we started few hours back.

While heading back my home, wondered why is it not that easy when I have to perform these tasks at home?. The pending tasks that they were lying for eons, if I must say. I procrastinate, like for ever but they are back burners in my mind and occupy lot of thinking space. That is not good. I feel, we are emotionally and financially invested in things. Certain things trigger our memory, and then we lose track of time, which is why it is hard to be objective about it. I have done such helping in organizing at other friends place as well earlier and I felt it was as easy as it was yesterday and of course does not apply to self. You see, may be not having a definitive goal of what you want to get out of your task might be ruining it. I shall try.

The feeling of accomplishment and helping a friend in need was a warm feeling. I had a hectic Christmas break, and was craving for few restful days without any agenda. That is not very likely to happen in the near future, too many social obligations. I just need to make own space in the world of busyness. Is it not true that we  put other’s above our comforts most of the times? is it good for your soul? Sure, when you help each other in the times of need. That is what the relationships are all about.

So, how do you deal with organization in your home?

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Cravings..

It has been slightly over a week that I cooked at home. Have been grabbing lunch at work and dinner’s with friends. With the unexpected expense with home repairs,  eating out everyday indeed has been challenging financially. Just as we try to manage this crisis, the check that we gave last month to a person has decided to deposit at the very crunch time made the whole thing more challenging. Every time, the time came to hang out with my friends makes my heart bleed. Lately, hanging out with friends has been turning out to be very expensive. I am spending the money I do not have. How do I politely decline such going out in such situations? may be I should be honest about our situation and suggest alternatives instead? . It does not help the fact that with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner and holiday season surely brings more expenses.

I digress, enough of my rantings about current financial crisis. It has been 10 days and I was craving for some home made food and specifically a particular summer sour soup that my mother used to make with fresh tamarind that was available during that time. So, I set out to cook some chickpea-tomato curry and soup along with rice.  The food turned out to be delicious, it sure tasted great. Cravings and deprivation does bring some sense of longing to some simple foods isn’t?

 

Relationships – My Parents

There are many different kind of relationships one person possess. Some we can name as mother, father, brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grand parents, friends, lover, fiance, wife, husband, nephews, nieces, neighbors etc but for some there aren’t any pre-defined names. I have been among those fortunate people who have had the share of love & respect from every possible family member, friends and even distant relatives or the people that I do not know personally but have been loved just being part of the family. I am my Maternal Grand mother’s most favorite kid.

It is hard to explain such feelings to anyone. I just feel it when I am surrounded by them and yet cannot pin point or express it. The language of love is quite different and you will only be felt. It makes me overwhelmed with gratitude towards my parents, who taught me to be good to people around and help them if possible. It is their very nature that was passed onto me that I still possess and for the other things I acquired along the way made me the person I am.

Image

My Parents – Enjoying the view from NYC Downtown-South Sea Port

My parents being my first and foremost teachers and I owe part of my attributes to them. They protected me from all outside influences and made me focus only on studies and wanted me to be financially independent. Growing up I did not want to study as much and disliked my father for not letting me attend any family events stating various reasons w.r.to “Exams, school and disturbance to studies etc” nor I remember he ever organized any events at home. Looking back, I can only be thankful for his persistence and being strict considering our abilities, financial status, circumstances, family background. He did what he thought was the best for us. My dad thought education is the best weapon one could give to their children, and he firmly believed in it for that he worked hard as well. He has two Bachelor degrees and a Masters degree.

My mother was there for me when ever I needed. She was doing well being a farmer and was considered very smart. I think, my brother might have got her smart genes. She gave up farming to become stay-at-home-mom and went onto become the “Best Mom”, she is our finance minister at home. She lived a simple life and concentrated on our education and giving some financial security to our family by not indulging in luxurious life style. (I wish, if only I got that a bit) She never bothered my father for expensive clothes or jwelery (which most of the women does, spend money on clothes and jwelery to show off), what ever she had, she would spend it on us. She instilled a thought in us to respect elders, speak to guests with humility, never take any money from others,  (there was a instance where I found the money on the road and could not dare picking up). Till date, those values still hold strong in me. She is a great human by nature who never poisoned our heads with malicious thoughts of bringing other people down. May be, this is the very reason that I cannot think the people are bad, I always find goodness in every single person and it is sometimes my weakness that people take advantage from me. She always wanted us to help others in any possible way if we can even if any one were intentionally hurting her to bring her spirits down. This is just a bit of her and I can go on writing about her for as long as I wish.

I have this life because of them, only them. All others stand after them. I had fought and argued with them on silly to interesting subjects about life and in general. They sailed through me listening to every thing that I speak and my mother is a great listener and my father is quick to adopt .. they are charming in their own way.

No matter what, they are and will be my best parents ever. I love them.

Facebook Time

How many times have you looked at facebook messages, comments, likes, posts, pictures of friends and unknown people and browsing your time away?

Time is Precious

Time is Precious
(Courtesy – Google Images Search)

I bet facebook is very addictive and to an extent that you make least effort to meet people in person or at least speak on phone.  And yes, the messages in facebook propagates much faster than news now-a-days, rather let’s name any social media options  like twitter, pintrest, myspace, linkedin, google plus and their seamless integration and cross posts have reached masses more than ever before.

I like this virtual connectivity, bringing people much closer and giving you the breadth and width of required information, meeting long lost friends, providing a platform to express your opinions out loud to the world, helping entrepreneurs market and sell their products providing employment to many by making life and business much simpler.

Social Media

Social Media
(Courtesy – Google Images Search)

With good comes bad, if not used properly.. all of your time would be washed away browsing  facebook, pintrest or any other social media sites. Anything extreme is not good. I have had my share of fun connecting with my friends, family and knowing what they are unto and spending hours reading random posts by  unknown people, friends activity history or family pictures by being a silent spectator and impulse to reply immediately when some one messages me. Thanks to smart phones that will always let you connect with people.. well really?  I, like many other addicts would simply go onto facebook on mobile and spend time as if that is my ONLY job.

People always show best of them on Facebook and so am I.. everyone is under illusion that every one is having great time and it bothers you more when you are in down time. In fact, statistics shows that people who browse facebook often are more depressed when they see other people being happy.  Irrespective of any of it, as long as you use it in limited fashion.. it is a great tool to connect with people.

I decided to part away with it until I control the urge to constantly open it. It has been 3 months and I used “Facebook time” for better purpose of “Reading books” and working on “Changing my life Style for better”. I might consider myself to be getting better at reading more books and read almost 14 books in 3-months which is quite an achievement for me and still working on the later one. And now, I rather call up my close family/friends than staying connected over facebook.

Dear facebook, I love you but not so much that it overtakes my life.

What do you think about facebook?

Diwali Celebrations are on…

Diwali (or Deepavali) is festival widely celebrated in India. There is a reason and story behind every festival, like wise there is one for this too. Instead of me writing about it, I’ll point you to one of the blog that I follow for you to know more about it. (Click here for the story). This festival is a celebration of triumph of good over evil.

Traveling back in time to one of my most beautiful memory lane, as part of the preparations for this festival.. we would have to prepare the list of fire crackers and hand over it to my dad. He would then take us to store near by and get us all we want, that would be sufficient for 3 days. And at home, there will be intensive house cleaning activities go on, painting the home, cleaning, washing, re-organizing and throwing away unwanted items..and so on so forth.

On the day of Diwali, the corridor’s are decorated with Mango leaves

Mango Leaves on Doors

Prayer to Goddess Lakshmi (the goddess of wealth) is performed at home and at respective business locations

Goddess Lakshmi

Sweets

Sweets are distributed amongst neighbors, friends and families. This is the most fun part,  by the end of the day you would have so many sweet boxes lying around and a difficult time for parents to stop their kids from eating all the unhealthy food in the world. Yes, just like candy’s that kids collect during Halloween festival.

 

 

 

 

 

Then shopping for fire-crackers

Fire-Crackers shopping

as the day begins to get darker, you’ll get to see all the lights in the sky, loud sounds, people decorating their surroundings with candle lights (called as Diya’s) , the diya’s that we use are usually made out of mud, the oil is poured into those small-little containers and a cotton made like a thickest thread is inserted into it, then they are lighted with match stick.

Diya’s in mud containers

These are now placed around the home

Diya’s placed around the home

These Diya’s are used to fire the crackers.  Fun starts from the morning! This produces so much of noise pollution and it is hard to get away with it unless you have sound-proof homes. Unfortunately, if one is not very careful about these things, this is the time where one could burn themselves and burn places as well.

Biggest Ladi – fun starts from the morning

and then in the evening, people gather at one place and start playing with fire crackers until late in the mid-night. It is such a wonderful experience to participate in the event without being worried about harm that it could cause you.

Pool Chadi – kids usually love them

and other not-so-dangerous fire crackers (I really enjoy all these things and here I am in different country missing the fun)

Chichu Buddi

Bhoo-Chakra’s

There have been instances where my hands, sometimes legs were burnt because of being careless about it. It would take many days to recover from those injuries and yet, we look forward for this festival with the same levelof enthusiasm.

and these go on until mid night or at times almost until morning, this not only creates noise pollution but also air pollution. Here is the mess that you see on every street and home, the more you burn the more trash it accumulates.

Mess after Diwali day

A great festival, that used to be my day on Diwali and now, it’s different – all we do is host or attend a Diwali event, at the max we would burn the “pool chadi”  the one you hold in your hands and burn. If you truly want to enjoy Diwali, you have got to make a trip to India. There could never be any better place than India to celebrate this festival.

This is a picture of India from NASA on a Diwali Day. This how big it is celebrated.

India on Diwali Night

With this the celebration comes to end!

To all my dear readers of this blog: Wishing you a fabulous Diwali. Wish this festival bring you happiness, wealth and success your way.

P.S: My memories still fresh from my childhood. Hope to celebrate this day again in the future with the same excitement and enthusiasm.