Archive | January 2017

Day 21 : Winter Madness

I have been going on and off with cold from last 2 weeks. I continue on medication for 3 days as prescribed, I get better and then I get sick again. I would blame on my lifestyle choices. Not getting enough sleep, no work out and disturbed routines, and not having a nutritious diet along with work stress, all of it is leading to distress and drop in energy levels. It has been warm winter so far, but at times the weather is very unpredictable with extreme variation. Which is also taking a toll on my health. My immunity for some reason is going bonkers.

See, I had grand plans of ice skating which I found is just 2 miles away from my home, skiing weekends in the mountains is falling behind. I was excited to learn that there is a holiday coming up and is a perfect time to go for skiing, get tired, recover from body pains and go back to work. All of it does not seem to materialize. Growing up, even if i wanted to be sick, i never did. If they have to give me 100 % attendance award, I would totally score it. Now, at work, there are limited sick leaves, glad they even give them at all. The problem with sick leaves is, if you have committed to some deliverable’s , it is extra stress on you to finish anyway. That is exactly my situation. I may have to work in the weekends to compensate for lost time, those meetings, un-avoidable calls even when you are sick is current state of affairs in my life. How can you even manage?

To keep up with my resolutions, I have made 3 attempts this week to make to yoga, was about to step out and then my instructor sends a text message of being cancelled. It has happened every single time. Not sure, if I even want to continue the yoga classes with this instructor, unfortunately it’s the only closest and convenient option for me. Instances like this in combination with my own lack of discipline is wasting my money. Yes, it is not that cheap, in fact going to gym and gym classes are much economical than going to just yoga class alone. This cancellation of classes unfortunately coincided with my days of making up my mind to go back is quite demotivating.

I do enjoy snow, and the seasons that change bring different feelings. You see good with bad, I dislike this cold weather and prefer to stay indoors, and that causes¬†cloudiness in my head and gloominess in mood, and that forces myself to step out for a while to get some fresh air. It also gives me some sense of pleasant feeling, don’t we all do?

How do you spend your winter? What excites you more about it? Most importantly, I enjoy any warm tea, sipping when it’s cold is a nice feeling. Yes, going to rest room isn’t ūüėČ . So, let’s just focus on only good part and now tell me why do you like Winter?

Day 20 : Meeting people in a social setting

Call it a Social Anxiety, I have hard time having a conversation with new people. Especially, if I have to meet friends of friends or friends cousins/family members. ¬†So, it is extremely rare from my end to be friends with these new people unless the action/persuasion happens from the other side, looking back, I can count on my fingers.¬†¬†Perhaps, the experiences I’ve had in the past, where I felt people judged me right on my face, or my inability to participate in any conversations for lack of knowledge in areas of discussion or if I am making up all this in my head, not sure. I have myriad of thoughts running in my head of what if’s, then’s, else’s or something weird that I think of with the end goal that they might be looking down on me or Is it just that I get that sort of feeling with few people. It just is and hard to justify even though they are very nice to me and I mean nothing to them and may forget me the next moment the occasion ends. But, I carry forward the feelings, at times good, some times bad. I remember bad¬†feelings quite often than good, guess, that is human nature. That is why, I have another new year resolution for me to think only positive of any situation. It¬†helps me to be sane and If I have to meet them again, then I would feel good and look forward to meet any one for that matter. What do you think?

How about you? how do you look forward to meeting new people? what do you chat when you meet? are you a natural conversationalist? I have too many questions to ask. With some people, the conversation just flows and with other’s (which is majority in my case) it becomes most like Q & A with yes or no answers and I look for every opportunity to get away from them and not to meet them ever again. Is it me or them? or if they are in the same boat as me. I am not sure. And that is why, I have hard time meeting you my dear blogger friends. As much as I love reading your blog posts, I categorize myself as one who may not fit in your world. I would not know, unless I try. Someday, I muster enough courage to give it a try. One day.

I try to pay attention to other’s who are good at making conversations, the topics they choose and questions they ask and how they put an effort to make a personal connection with them, some how. I am amazed at some of my friends, cousins who have confidence to meet any new people without shying away. On the other hand, I fight with my inner self so much to make such attempts. Why is it so hard for me? And yes, writing just my thoughts out here want me to get to the root of this problem, and find solution to make my life better. Finding a problem in itself is an accomplishment, now, onto looking for ways.

How about you all?

Day 19 : Emotional Attachment for Things

There is not a single person that I personally know of, who is not attached to materialistic things in some or the other form. May be, I have not reached that spectrum yet in my life. Gifts from loved ones, things you have purchased with your first income, or anything that you have accumulated over a period of time, has some memory associated with it. Does it not?

A friend of mine recently moved to her new home. The home is probably 10 times larger in square feet than¬†their previous apartment they lived in. With a toddler in hand, and other shopping responsibilities for furniture had their energy drained by end of the day. This is when, your’s truly came in to picture to help her organize her kitchen. All of you know, how much I struggle with organizing in my tiny home with thorough thought process of whether we need it or not, and mull over things to buy and are forced to de-clutter at times for lack of space. Now, this kitchen in their home is much larger by size than I am used to. It was already semi organized by then, so all I had to do was categorize them, select the place, organize in presentable manner. Repeat. 70 percent was done in ¬†mere 4 hours.

With this exercise, I realized that I had no emotional attachment to anything from their kitchen, broken cup, jug or plate or glass or any dishware – my instant reaction was, let’s just get rid of them unless my friends really really wanted it for some meaning. They did keep handful and rest of them were thrown out mercilessly into garbage. Not only that, anything that if i feel they may not use it, I suggested them to get rid. It was easy. The kitchen looked much better than where we started few hours back.

While heading back my home, wondered why is it not that easy when I have to perform these tasks at home?. The pending tasks that they were lying for eons, if I must say. I procrastinate, like for ever but they are back burners in my mind and occupy lot of thinking space. That is not good. I feel, we are emotionally and financially invested in things. Certain things trigger our memory, and then we lose track of time, which is why it is hard to be objective about it. I have done such helping in organizing at other friends place as well earlier and I felt it was as easy as it was yesterday and of course does not apply to self. You see, may be not having a definitive goal of what you want to get out of your task might be ruining it. I shall try.

The feeling of accomplishment and helping a friend in need was a warm feeling. I had a hectic Christmas break, and was craving for few restful days without any agenda. That is not very likely to happen in the near future, too many social obligations. I just need to make own space in the world of busyness. Is it not true that we ¬†put other’s above our comforts most of the times? is it good for your soul? Sure, when you help each other in the times of need. That is what the relationships are all about.

So, how do you deal with organization in your home?

Day 18 : Illustrations

Learned about sketching in one the blog that I regularly follow, she is one of my favorite author from India that I tend to follow her blog. She is into many things, and the art on her instagram¬†got me interested to try it out. ¬†I cannot add it to my resolution list as this is one of the many¬†experimental hobbies that I pursue. I ended up drawing something with my regular pen on a paper and applied water colors to it, the result was not too bad but not good either to show off my first art in the longest possible time. Ok, I was a decent painter when I was a kid and am proud of myself to say that my younger cousins imitated my every doing are now a better artists than I am. Imitation is the biggest flattery, isn’t? ¬†This lead me to looking into beginner level tutorials for sketching, and that is when I landed on fashion illustration.

I thought, if I am starting new, why not take up fashion sketching and experiment with it. I ended up watching quite a handful videos and realized it is not as easy as I thought. To get the body proportions in itself is a quite a measured art that comes naturally after so much of practicing. Then comes, the style with which a model poses, and the type of dress you choose to adorn that figure is another challenging. Once you perfect these two, then comes the lighting, shading and coloring and that requires you to understand the science behind lighting and shadow. The curls, folds, wind, sheer clothing, stiff clothing and essentially you can go as far as close to taking a picture. Since, this is all an imagination, it get’s difficult, and no wonder becoming fashion designer is not that easy. Of course, technology is advanced and it has become easier than ever to draw it online and give specification of light source, style and dress, it will adjust to the desired one, and more importantly it’s faster.

So, every hobby that I have taken up or want to do sounds like I am swimming in a Ocean. This is difficult. I rather be jack of all trades than master of at least one to some extent. There, I still cannot nail down and say I like a thing and I want to continue. What am I passionate about? I guess, I’ll still be figuring out in my 80’s provided if I have my mental and physical abilities in tact. Any fashionista’s here? to be precise people who sketch?

I’ll just focus on basic sketching of stand still models with fancy gowns that I wish to wear. I am not a big fan of clutter and I am no model to get such variety to wear, I’ll live in my art, my imagination is not that great either. I’ll start with copying simpler one’s and then if I still hold interest, will come back with my artsy stuff to flaunt here. And most importantly, with one art that I drew this morning, definitely therapeutic for my rest less mind.

Any artists here? Would love to see your sketches or illustrations. Please leave me a link to your art work.


Day 17 : Rolling into new year

So, I have neglected this blog again and the commitment to 500 words challenge for 30 days. Once, you get a break, it is hard to get back on. Ever since, thanks giving holidays, my yoga slid off from my routine as well. I lacked discipline in getting back on board, with travelling, having guests over, heavy¬†workload at work did not help either. My routines went upside down. Blogging requires at least 30-45 minutes of time and it uses my brain power, i preferred to watch shows on ¬†you tube / Netflix to kill it. Yes, nothing productive. I’ll put the rambling about “why not” to “How could I not” and move ahead to this bright full new year.

Started new year eve with a bang at Times Square with friends and family. It was truly a joyous and memorable event. Yes, I did not feel like drinking this time around, may be a sip or two, so the open bar was useless for me. ¬†I was tied up with so many activities until now that I barely got a time to reflect back on 2016 and make new year resolutions. Today in the long time i got time for myself with no one in the home and with the snow storm that restricted me from meeting anyone today is very refreshing. Any new-yorkers here? ¬†I have way too many guests and too many friends to catch up with not leaving enough time for myself to slow down a bit. So, this year one of the resolution is to slow down and say “No” to every request without giving reason. I just want to un-wind and do my thing like read a book, fix my home, de-clutter, finish pending tasks from years and have freedom to do what I like without analyzing too much. I love making resolutions from time to time, but new years holds a special place in heart and I end up making a huge list.

Here are mine:

  1. Drink 2 liters of water every day.
  2. Yoga 5 times a week.
  3. De-clutter once a week at least for 20 minutes.
  4. Write on this blog at least twice a week
  5. Eat home made food unless there is no option.
  6. Treat myself when I achieve some of personal and professional goals.
  7. Read at least two books each month.

These are some that I usually do on and off basis. Now, I would like to be more responsible for my statements that are made here. It’s easier said than done.

I’ve yet to make another post writing out how 2016 fared for me, the ups, the downs and everything else that happened. I have hard time re-collecting from my memory bank. I never really spoke about my travels here. I travel reasonably ok averaging one every month and one out of country trip each year. With such delay, there has been lapse in memory for details. There is so much that goes into planning a trip, from choosing a place to booking a flight to reserving a hotel and so on. All this requires researching on various web-sites, hoping to make best of out of given options i.e time, budget etc..and then dealing with the visa hassles is altogether another story. The best part has been every travel, every meeting with a new person / old friend, every book/article that I read changes my perspective to some extent. Does this sound like a familiar experience to you?

Belated, but not that late – here’s wishing you a very exciting new year full of experiences. Wish you nothing but the best year ahead.

How did you celebrate new year? What are your new year resolutions?  You can either leave a link to your blog article or write it in comments. Looking forward to read yours.